Feed the Ego

Confrontation is inevitable.
When there is more than one person, there will be confrontation.
And sometimes there is confrontation with merely one person...
With confrontation comes various factors, such as differing opinions, argumentation, debate, lies, exaggeration, fact-spinning, altering perspectives, and in some circumstances, violence.
In an average day, there are countless confrontations in this world, ranging from children arguing in a playground, people debating over price in a market place, intellectuals debating at a university, to violent wars being fought in a far-off land.
It has been debated, by various debaters, what the best option is in order to be more victorious when it comes to the average daily debate. Some say that the "compliment sandwich" is the most effective strategy. This involves beginning with a complement to the opposing side, making a more offensive, rude, or more honest and straight-forward statement, followed by another compliment.
A second theory has recently surfaced where one begins with an insult, and due to the fact that people focus more on what is being stated when they hear or read something they disagree with, the person conversing begins complimenting the opposing side. This "scores points" for the conversing side, metaphorically speaking.
There is, however, a new theory to debate that I wish to spend time conversing about. It may have already been thought up. In fact, I am nearly certain that it has, but I am going to type about it anyway.
The concept I am referring to is the title of this blog post.

"Feed the Ego."

In an average debate, there are two people who have taken facts, and manipulated them in their own different ways to formulate their own separate but opposing opinions. Some debates are more important than others. This theory cannot be used in, say, a presidential debate. However, there are certain instances in smaller, more minuscule and pointless arguments.
The basis of this concept is that one side has done something wrong, I shall refer to is as "side A," and the side that is upset with side A will be named side G..I mean.."side B."
So let's put this concept in action with an example.
Side A is walking down the street and gets bumped into by Side B. Side B becomes angry, and begins scolding side A in a forceful, and possibly violent manner. So what should Side A do? (We shall refer to Side A as a male for the sake of ease) Should he point out that it was not his fault, due to the fact that the collision was inevitable from his point of view because Side B was not paying attention to the surroundings? Should he continue to point out other various factors that lead to the occurrence, explaining that it was more or less inevitable because of said factors that are beyond his, Side A's, control? Perhaps. This may take time, lengthy explanation, careful word choice, further anger and frustration for both sides, and could end up worsening the possible relationship the two sides may have in the future.
Or Side A could implement "Feed the Ego." This would involve immediately beginning with two things; perhaps not the first, but most definitely the second. It begins with an apology. This simple act may involve the swallowing of one's pride, even in the face of blatant arrogance and/or stupidity, but it is almost always required. The second step, now this one you cannot avoid, is to agree with the opponent. Yes, you read me correctly. Side A must agree with Side B. This give an "Ego enhancing effect" which is a term that I just made up. Once Side B hears that they are both in agreement on the matter, the confrontational feeling is quickly diffused. The concrete walls of argument begin to crumble, per se. This is where a critical point comes into focus for Side A. He has many choices at this moment in time, and depending on what he chooses, it could drastically alter the situation in various ways. He could possibly alter how the opposing side feels about the matter, maybe placing the blame on a third party, such as the fictional "Side C." As long as Side A continues with the idea that he is now in agreement with Side B, he could say anything at all, as long as it comes back to the fact that some other third party is the cause of the problem in the first place.
You look perplexed.
I'll give you a real live example from my past.
I had a megaphone all decked out in school colors and I used it to cheer for my teammates during swim meets. The end of the year comes and I pass the megaphone down to the Junior class. In order to commemorate my class, the class that started the new tradition, we chose to write our names on a piece of paper, have it laminated, and planned on super-gluing it to the megaphone. The first debate raged about where to glue it, with the winners deciding that outside below the handing should be the spot. The deed is done and the Junior girl who has been selected to watch over the megaphone is angry. She didn't like the spot it was placed in and wanted it to either be moved, or plans to continue placing the names of the graduating swimmers on the outside of the megaphone. This I cannot allow.
The debate, being tedious and moronic as it was, became a perfect opportunity to use the concept I've been rambling about for the last 900 words. However, in this situation, an apology is not required. I begin, as I should, by agreeing with her, telling her that I was on her side all along, and that the real opposition is blahblahblah it doesn't matter. I then explain to her why the situation is the way it is, reminding her that it was out of my control, and that the megaphone would look terrible with it either covered in laminated paper or a giant glue spot bellow the handle. She understands, and the debate is over. Boom. Easy.
Even though she lost, she still comes out feeling in the right, feeling that her idea was correct, but that the nameless opposing forces are the true enemy.

I think I'm ranting again.

What was the point of this?

Oh right. So another aspect of "Feeding the Ego" is called "Extreme Ego Feeding" which is another term I just made up on the spot.
This involves a situation where one side, Side A must explain his actions to the opposing side. There are plenty of options in such a situation; playing the victim, fanning the flames (also known as "trolling," in the virtual world,) beating around the bush, deep and thorough explanation in hopes for understanding, or the easiest and most effective technique, "Extreme Ego Feeding." This sticks with the concept of ego feeding without delving into the secondary concept of manipulation. It means Side A does not acknowledge the existence of a "Side C" and focuses on his primary objective of "Ego Feeding." Explaining that he is ultimately and inexplicably in the wrong and that Side B is in the right shall most likely place the argument to rest.

But use with caution. This version of "Feeding the Ego" may lead to an even larger argument in the future if Side A refuses to swallow his pride and deflate his own ego. It must be used carefully, or else feelings of anger and frustration may build up with no outlet except either a major argument or a meaningless lengthy blog post that, most likely, no one will ever read.

...Anyway...

-Æ

Fluctuation

I've been having some writer's block since my last post.
I start this new blog, try and hype it up so it'll be super popular, and then I just never post on the damn thing.
I start writing a post and then 3 sentences in, I give up and never touch it again.
Alas.
Today has been an interesting day. Fluctuation is the topic for discussion, as you can see. That is how my day has been in one simple word. Coincidentally, that's how my life has been also. I try to stay positive, and I'm good at staying positive. Why wouldn't I be? I've got loads of friends. My life is on track. My goals are set. I'm just living day by day trying to attain said goals.

But within that box is a collection of individual boxes.

My day by day has been its own challenge. Who knows what I'm really talking about here? I would safely assume everyone.
I could begin ranting about how shitty my day has been, ranging from the fact that I got terrible grades on 2 quizzes in two classes in the course of several hours. I could complain about a certain subject that is slowly driving me insane, but I don't really want to get into it too deeply in such an open forum such as this. Perhaps in a later post.
I think I'm ranting again....
The problem is everyone has their own group of problems. I tell myself not to complain because I know my circumstances are good and i really have nothing worthy to complain about. I begin thinking about specific people who do have something to complain about. And then I think about life as those people, and how they also don't have room to complain because of an entire new group of people that has circumstances even worse than them. It is a never ending cycle until you come to realize that...that we all complain because it's natural. We all complain because we're human. We all complain because we are vocal creatures. We should complain. We should bitch and moan about things. Certainly not everything, but if a circumstance has caused you harm or trouble or difficulty in your life, you have every right to complain about it. I can't say who you should complain to, because I know some people will most likely hit you in the head and tell you to "quit your bitchin'."

My vision is shaking...Is that bad? Oh well... Doesn't matter...
I really hope this makes sense to people, because I have a feeling that I'm in the wrong state of mind to make sense.

Fluctuation.

I worry about the fact that I didn't get a good grade on something.
A woman worries she won't have enough money for rent this month.
A man worries he can't feed his child.
A woman worries she can't go outside because there are bombs going off in her city on a daily basis.
Did I mention I didn't do well on some schoolwork?

Perspective.
Perhaps if we all had a little more perspective on things, we could understand better.
What do I know? I've barely got any perspective on things and I'm the most open-minded person I know.
That's called Irony...I think...

I think once I shine a light on some specific problems, it may help with others that continue to rattle about in the ole' noggin. Maybe if I shine a light on the monster, I wouldn't feel like such a baby. Maybe if I knew what I was covering up from the world, I could actually reveal it. Maybe I'm just not making any damn sense no matter what I type in this stupid box.

I'm done with this.

-Æ